Still Struggling

So for a while now I’ve been struggling with my faith. The best way that I know how to describe it is that I don’t know where exactly to place it in. I’ve done one of these testimonies before and in it I’ve mentioned how I do believe in God and I do believe that everything is possible through him and such, but lately I cant help but feel like God has abandoned me in so many ways (when in my heart of hearts I know that I’m the one that abandoned him). I just really hate the state of my life right now, I feel this longing inside me and this feeling of emptiness. This void that has become so obvious since Elizabeth has broken up with me (which I mentioned in my last testimony). She has told me before that in some ways maybe I tried to fill a void that was already there with her, and maybe she’s right, I really don’t know. These past couple of months I’ve felt so lonely and so………I don’t even know whats the right word for it.

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