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African-American & I Left

by a Lady

Like a lot of African-Americans, I was born into the Christian Game via a Missionary Baptist Church that was a part of the Southern and National Baptist State Conventions among other local conference groups and for 19 years of my life, I was "saved" (which in actuality is "slaved"). All of my life I have been forced to go to church (or "assimilation pointe" as I call it) with my mother up until recently when I revealed to her from college on the other side of the country that I was Non-Religious, a Humanist. Of course like most cultic people, she became hysterical and my confession broke her heart into pieces. I mean, what can I say? She wanted me to be cultic ("religious" in sugarcoating terms), and have an easy life but that was not meant for me, that is not nor has ever been me, and that is not where my beliefs lie. My mother had me involved in everything from "Junior Missions, Junior Usher Board, Choirs, Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, Church Committees, Productions (like Christmas Programs, Easter Programs, Pastor's Anniversaries, etc.), etc." My mother figured at some point in my life that I should be involved only in cultic organizations where cultic principles and terminologies, etc. were drilled into my psyche each and every moment of every freakin' day. Easy life, following the crowd, going along with the flow for the ride, not doubting nor thinking because everything was thought for me, no pursuit of mental and spiritual independence. That's what was wanted for me.

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