4/13/2003 | Share this article: View CommentsCHAPTER 1
The origin of Species
IN the beginning God created Dates.
2 And the date was Monday, July 4, 4004 B.C.
3 And God said, Let there be light; and there was light. And when there was light, God saw the Date, that it was Monday, and he got down to work; for verily, he had a Big Job to do.
4 And God made pottery shards and Silurian mollusks and pre-Cambrian limestone strata; and flints and Jurassic Mastodon tusks and Picanthropus erectus skulls and Cretaceous placentals made he; and those cave paintings at Lasceaux. And that was that, for the first Work Day.
5 And God saw that he had made many wondrous things, but that he had not wherein to put it all. And God said, Let the heavens be divided from the earth; but not too deep.